You're definitely not focused, so don't struggle to bring this day into crisp, clear perspective. Operating heavy machinery may not be the best idea, but you're in a perfect state to muse productively about the future [ed. note--that's really part of my problem, my head is all into the Future forgetting about Here and Now. Pardon...continue]
Forget follow-through. Your mind is too day-dreamy now to make practical progress.
Sometimes it feels like there are a million things you need to get done, but you have the attention span of a tsetse fly. So be it -- everyone has those days, and this may be one of yours. Use all that energy instead to tie up any loose ends or finish old projects. Make sure you carry around a pad and paper for all those ideas and items you want to do later -- you'll definitely want to remember those.
* * *
I'm thinking of the usual suspects today. Sweating around the house. Feeling bad for my furry buddy, Lilly, skulking in the shadows of the furniture and corners, then verbally abusing me loudly for not having A/C. I'm all like, "Brat! Get a job then!" But she doesn't pay me any mind; just throws up her nose and saunters away with back arched.
My mind is so wrapped up in things hopeless, loveless, hard to figure out, not even real, out of my control (sort of), possibly fixable, only broken in my head, only paired my mind/not real, and such that I realized that I'd forgotten to take some paperwork to the Clinic last week, and I took my meds 4 hours late.
I thought maybe some music would brighten my (okay, but could always be better) mood, so I threw in Bow Wow Wow Wild in the U.S.A.and later, thought "who am I kidding?" and put on Temple of the Dog. Really, that's more the level of mood I'm in.
Besides, it's an amazing CD.
I paid some bills, washed the dishes, took a nap, avoided the sun through the blinds, and sent out my R.S.V.P. for my cousin's wedding in August. In Cleveland. Mr. Mac + Zero. At least I'll get Filet Mignon. Ate breakfast for the first time in months. Remembered The Monthly Brunch is tomorrow at Mike's house. The theme this time is The Flaming Brunch.
No, we aren't experimenting sexually or anything, just if it can be thrown on a grill, it qualifies. I don't know what to bring, so beer again!
I am hoping to pull C.C. aside at some point and apologize to her (to be spread among the rest) for being such a piece of shit, Non-existent friend. I need to get back into the fold, this Self-Exile Isolationism is killing me, I know. I might try to set up something with M.W. for occasional happy hours or something at The Lamp Post or tavern near him.