Thursday, August 04, 2005

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

My Cube will be silent until sometime next week. I'm on the Road to Nowhere (hometown) and Cleveland for my cousin E.S.'s wedding. I'll be the drunken Guest+Zero mumbling to himself at the table with chicken or beef stuck in his teeth or screaming,

"What?!?! No Jameson?!?!?"
"Love Stinks! It's a pain in my ass!"
"I am already dancing, just in the seated position."
"Marriage is a hollow institution! Why all the pressure to get married?"
"I want another beer!"
"Who are you?"
"No, I don't have a girlfriend."
"Fine, mom, I'll just meet some chick at The Empty Bottle, get drunk, and knock her up; so, you can have a grand-baby."
"Sorry, I don't dance with anyone who's arm is bigger than my waist, thank you."
"....mumble, smile, mumble, yes, congrats, is the bar still open?"
To the bartendress, "How you doin'?"
"Yeah, Chicago, yeah, it's fucking great."
"Is Circus-Circus still open?"
"I'm crazy and poor, but you're a bitch!"
"Oh yeah, sure, C/B rocks, great stuff, yeah, 3 years, sure, uh-huh, great..."
"I savor being the only single guy here, really, wanna make out in front of your husband?"
"Another, please."
"I wish Grandma and Grandpa S. were still alive."

Thank you, again, M.C./C.C. for checking up on Lilly.

See you all next week.


Arsh said...

Hey, weddings alone can be more fun than expected. At least mine was--and it was a co-worker's! Except when those lovely love songs that I love (seriously) came on...hmm, I was trying to make you feel better about going. Hope you have (or make your own) fun!!

Hmmm Government Cheese said...


Drunk Bride's Maids. Yes, I know most are fat, but with each gin and tonic they shed another pound.

Anytime I dreaded going to a wedding (before I got married), I just reminded myself that they a spanish fly for single women.

s.larsson said...

thankss yeh got rid of the black and white one, couldnt make up my mind which one worked better but trueee the effects get lost in the b/w.

Mac said...

Wedding turned out fun(ish) and weird around 3 a.m.

Government Cheese--my Goggles are made of Whiskey and beer, but point well taken.

Larsson--excellent choice, keep up the fine work!