Thursday, April 14, 2005

Crushing unveiled! "And moving on."

I saw my Primary today, and I told her about my Crushing on her. After some discussion, she said I was full of insight about the textbook-ness of this and the situation. About realizing it is because I don't talk to anyone else, the bond created between Primary and Client, and etc. I "jokingly" reprimanded her for not taking credit where credit is due (something she points time and time again about myself): that she is attractive, intelligent, and funny. She thanked me, laughed and clinically/professionally glossed over onto next subject or topic at hand.

Our last meeting is planned for May 19th. I have to figure out how to switch offices and not create a gap between meds (which Dr. E. and I increased today also after she reprimanded me for the booze). I have to go through another intake with North-Rodgers MHC. Not looking forward to this, though I might be able to walk to the new MHC. I'm sad about leaving current Primary and office. I think the new one is located in an nasty area, I still need to check out the place.

My meds will run out one week before next Dr. E. meeting. I must schedule time for Nurse D. to make me a goodie bag. Apparently, my old brand (Paxil CR) is off the market, not just ran out for C4, but the factory needed to temporarily close down or something.

We talked about when I leave geographic area from people, I just cut them off, lose contact, lose touch with them. Jobs, friends from high school and college, etc. She said she just had this exact conversation with a friend of hers (here in Chicago, who is cute!). She told me what her friend said and it was practically verbatim what I felt. That it's hard for her to keep contact, safer, easier to just disappear. Who wants to hear about how crappy your life is going? Her friend is in therapy also. I asked if her and I had the same last name: siblings separated at birth. My Primary will let me know if her friend has any epiphanies.

Off to work, groggily, again.

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