Originally uploaded by Mac(3).
This morning, I awoke freezing in my heated apartment. Even with a heavy comforter, I shivered in the morning sunlight streaming through the blinds, covered in gallons of nightsweat.
Lilly wasn't next to me on the bed like usual. I felt sad.
And then I remembered the dream:
In the dream, Lilly lay sleeping under my dining table (which had been strangely moved onto my living room rug). I lay down next to her. I was mad at her for some reason. I reached out and grabbed her gently, then twisted her head and hind legs. She felt rubbery, like a fury Plastic Man toy, as I bent her head down and her back legs back and up.
She moaned once in a low voice of sadness and pain. I realized what I had done and picked her up, cradling her to my breast, burying my head into her belly as I started to cry. Her head wouldn't straighten up. I had hurt her and couldn't fix what I had done. In the dream, I knew I would never stop crying.
What had I done?