Monday, February 06, 2006

Nightmare about Lilly


Self-portrait
Originally uploaded by Mac(3).

This morning, I awoke freezing in my heated apartment. Even with a heavy comforter, I shivered in the morning sunlight streaming through the blinds, covered in gallons of nightsweat.

Lilly wasn't next to me on the bed like usual. I felt sad.

And then I remembered the dream:

In the dream, Lilly lay sleeping under my dining table (which had been strangely moved onto my living room rug). I lay down next to her. I was mad at her for some reason. I reached out and grabbed her gently, then twisted her head and hind legs. She felt rubbery, like a fury Plastic Man toy, as I bent her head down and her back legs back and up.

She moaned once in a low voice of sadness and pain. I realized what I had done and picked her up, cradling her to my breast, burying my head into her belly as I started to cry. Her head wouldn't straighten up. I had hurt her and couldn't fix what I had done. In the dream, I knew I would never stop crying.

What had I done?

3 comments:

Barb said...

What an awful dream! But it was just a dream. :)

Anonymous said...

that's a horrible nightmare. I've had similiar ones about breaking Lolamoe's neck..that one 'caused a waking panic attack. Couldn't shake that feeling for a while so I had to watch some shitty tv to get it out of my head.

-mike

Mac said...

Feeling better now. Just read in a dream book that it only had to do with sex...of course, Ha ha!