Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I need to cut my hair? Throat? Wrist?

It's getting shaggy. It makes me feel (more) ugly. Two people at work said they liked the way it looked, the way I'm "growing it out to wear it differently." I planned on cutting this week, mowing the lawn so to speak. Figures. Now, if I cut it, it'll appear as if I cut it only to spite them. There was more to the conversation, just too tired to fill you in. Or maybe I'm just being overly self-conscious or paranoid again.

They have a new album out apparently. Too bad I'm broke, I'd buy all their stuff. I'm not not neat.

A friend of mine is in London working on this.

I meet with my Primary tomorrow afternoon before work. Haven't seen her in like 3 weeks (?). I am not looking forward to it for some reason. I feel down. Just want to sleep. At least I'm not getting sick every time I leave the apartment like in the past two years, but I'm not sure if the meds are working enough. I don't know if this Paxil stuff is working. I still feel worthless, ugly, and see No Future. Maybe she can give me more clues on how to change over 25 years of Twisted Thinking.

I am planning on attending a Brunch held by my friends M.C./C.C. Not so much do I relish the idea/concept of Brunch, but I feel I need to attend because if don't they will soon stop calling me at all.

And I can't have that.

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