Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Yeah. I get paid for this.

This is a sort of montage/listy thing of a typical workday at The Bank:

  • Leave home late (fifteen to twenty minutes late).
  • Spend ride to post office berating myself for always being late.
  • Smoke two cigarettes during ride.
  • Fight/swerve/U-turn for a parking space as close as possible to the post office front door.
  • If the Caller Window is open, make small talk with Larry. A big burly mean (teddy bear interior) hairy guy who loves to go "to the boats" and gamble and hates most all humans.
  • If Caller Window is closed, I stand in line with the common folk and listen to everyone in line (which moves deathly slow. Always.) bitch and complain about how no one works here and they all suck and they move slow and everyone is going to call the Supervisor and there's always one nasally guy yelling as he walks out-- totally extending the rant to the point where you switch from being on his side to thinking, "man, shut the fuck up, bitch!"
  • Get mail, light a smoke, pop in current punk tape your into this week, drive to The Bank.
  • Give mail to Biggie J. and turn on computer.
  • Make coffee.
  • Check emails.
  • Drink coffee.
  • Respond to emails-- 40% of which are stupid and not my jurisdiction/job.
  • Pop in a CD (this week= Modest Mouse, Husker Du, Suicidal Tendencies, and Lady Sovereign).
  • Drink coffee.
  • Deliver any supply orders I left from last night.
  • Chat with two hottie Assyrian Tellers I'm trying to get with.
  • Fail to hook up with two hottie Assyrian Tellers I'm trying to get with.
  • Head back down to The Gopher Hole.
  • Listen to music.
  • Check email.
  • Take nap while Biggie J. goes on his mail run.
  • Check out Gawker and vote on my T-shirts.
  • Drink Coffee.
  • Think about a Lebanese women I met recently, wonder what she's doing.
  • Go outside for a cigarette.
  • Check out Gapersblock.
  • Drink coffee.
  • Change CD.
  • Check out Chicagoist.
  • Take a hot, dark yellow coffee piss.
  • Walk around storeroom intending to REALLY straighten this place up more.
  • Return to The Gopher Hole.
  • Lay back in chair and stare at ceiling for a while.
  • Surf the net, emailing myself interesting articles for future reference at home.
  • Go outside for a smoke.
  • Check emails.
  • Drink Coffee.
  • Go on a late "official" break, head outside for a smoke.
  • Check emails.
  • Recheck Gawker.
  • Deliver some supplies.
  • Return emails letting the recipient
  • Nap again while Joe is on Mail run.
  • Scratch balls.
  • Go to lunch around 3 or 3:30.
  • Clock back in and go outside for a cigarette.
  • Come back, check-return emails.
  • Clock out, go home.

The Gopher Hole at The Bank is either Heaven or Hell on Earth.


MO said...

Lady Sovereign? The SOV? You suprise me Mac. So do you love her or hate her?

Mac said...

Why the surprise?
She's short, black-haired, has an accent, and she's THE BIGGEST MIDGET IN THE GAME: Ch-ching!