Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Verbal Explosions and a Pretty song at Midnight

So, I'm quietly curled up in my chair surfing the net and catching up on some of my favorite sites; when my neighbor's door slams open.

Wait. Let me rephrase that: "...when my neighbor's door SLAMS open."

I hear her fly up the stairs and start POUNDING (there, got that one right the first time) on her upstairs neighbor's door. I hear him whip open the door and the following conversation ensues:
"Motherfucker, shut the fuck up!"
"Bitch, you shut the fuck up!"
"You got a whole living room here; you don't need to be pounding above my bedroom, bitch!"
"Fuck you, bitch....I oughtta...!"
"Go on, Bitch! Go on, Motherfucker, I dare you!"
"Get the fuck outta her, fucking bitch!"
"I pay rent, too, motherfuckin' bitch!"
"I should call the cops on you!"
"I should call the cops out you, bitch. I pay rent, too, ya know!"

At this point, I squint out the peephole, and see the two kids standing in the hall, looking up the stairs as she stomps down. Now, this neighbor is LOUD when she's just screaming for her kid to "take the fucking garbage out," but get her riled up like tonight, and I am sure "motherfuckers" in Bucktown can hear her shouting.

"Shut the fuck up, motherfucking crazy ass African bitch!" she bellows slamming the door; then, murmured yelling from within the apartment.

And that's when this song I've been downloading starts to play.


--End Scene--
[update: 1:15 a.m.]
The cops are here.
Apparently, the upstairs bitch (or is he the motherfucker?) called them. She refuses to open the door for them.
"I called the landlord, he's gonna have a talk with him tomorrow!"
"Can you open the door, ma'am, so we can talk about this?"
"Shit, there ain't nothing to talk about. I call the cops, and he never opens his door. He's up there poundin' on the floor, screaming and shit, I don't know what the fuck he doin' up there. Nuh-uh. I'm not even about to hear that, not even gonna hear that!"
Slams the door in the cops faces.

1 comment:

Adrian said...

Fantastic - funny and painfull. I think between them they covered all the lyrics of "Another" by Notorious B.I.G. That's quite a feet.