Saturday, November 06, 2004

Surprise, surprise!

As you can tell from the time of this current post and the last one, I wussed out on going to the Helmet show at the Empty Bottle tonight. Why? Because I am beat tired for some unknown reason, my mood shifted pretty low yesterday and today, I'm broke, and, hmm, let's see, oh yeah: because I am a scaredy, stupid, wussie, piece of crap!

Man, I am so sick of myself. And I can't picture it getting better anytime soon. An eternity of self-hatred and loathing, self-disappointment, missed opportunities, financial near-ruin.

I'm one of these. Only not smart, precocious and in New York (but lonely!). I read the article just today before work and a lot of it seemed pretty accurate to me/for me. But it may just be my mind reaching out for a scapegoat or sorts.

Okay. Off to bed before I talk myself into tears. My meds double, starting tomorrow.

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